Saturday, May 13, 2006

Hot or Not? Not.


NEW YORK (Reuters) - A New York hip-hop disc jockey was arrested on Friday for endangering the welfare of a child, two days after he was fired for racist and sexually threatening comments about a rival's
wife and 4-year-old daughter.

The remarks were made in several broadcasts since May 3. Torain used racial slurs about Gia Casey, the part-Asian wife of a disc jockey at another radio station, Raashaun Casey, known as DJ Envy, who
works for Hot 97.

He also offered listeners $500 for information on the whereabouts of the couple's child and implied he wanted to sexually abuse and urinate on the child.

Brafman said Torain had apologized for the comments but said they were the culmination of a long-running verbal battle that had "spiralled out of control."

"For days prior to the statements attributed to DJ Star, DJs at Hot 97 were threatening him, taunting him and making offensive remarks about members of his family, even going so far as calling his mother a
prostitute," Brafman told Reuters.

I'm reminded, upon reading Brafman's remarks, of the seminal Patrick Swayze flick, Roadhouse.

In the film, Swayze's character (Dalton) lectures the employees of the titular establishment on how to treat troublesome customers:

Dalton: If somebody gets in your face and calls you a cocksucker, I want you to be nice. Ask him to walk. Be nice. If he won't walk, walk him. But be nice. If you can't walk him, one of the others will help you, and you'll both be nice. I want you to remember that it's a job. It's nothing personal.

Steve: Being called a cocksucker isn't personal?

Dalton: No. It's two nouns combined to elicit a prescribed response.

Steve: What if somebody callas my mama a whore?

Dalton: Is she?

One thing's for sure - this sort of behavior continues to give the Winston McCuen's of the world more ammunition.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Screenwritin' Superstar

John Rogers writes one entertaining blog. It's called Kung Fu Monkey, and it's worth your time.

Rogers was kind enough to post a Q n' A session on FISA, warrantless wiretaps, and constitutional law - and like most of the stuff he writes it is both funny and smart.

Comment: You can't ask the President to protect us, and then not let him do his job!
Answer: There is nothing stopping the President from doing his job. That law may well be the easiest law in the world to follow, subject to the loosest court in the land. To boil it down mathematically, if you had an arrangment by which you could fuck other women, then three days later tell your wife, and 98% of the time your wife said "Sure, whatever," you would still be working under stricter rules than the FISA law.

To extend the metaphor, if you told me you can not get laid enough under that relationship, I can only surmise that is because you are up to some very, very dodgy stuff. The legal equivalent of furries. Trek Furries. Scat Trek Furries. With Electro.

Comment: "This is no big deal, and you have to trust the people in power to do the right thing."
Answer: Ahem. The entire FUCKING POINT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS THAT YOU DON'T "JUST TRUST SOMEONE" BECAUSE THEY ARE IN POWER. Thomas Jefferson would stab you in the neck with a spoon if he heard you say that.*

On a more specific note, there may be some Administrations I would barely consider trusting with this sort of behaviour. The one with Karl Rove in it? Not so much. Even if there's no malice aforethought, these are the people who fucked up New Orleans. These are the people who fucked up Iraq. They are just very bad at their jobs. If they were at least efficient, I would sleep better. As far as I know, a list of all my phone calls are currently sitting in a dumpster next to the name of the guy carrying the nuclear football.

Comment: "We need to catch the bad guys, and anything is worth --"
Answer: Have you secured the ports yet? Secured the chemical plants? Figured out a way to scan all the luggage on US flights? Worked out the kinks in the retarded "No Fly" list? Started buying up some of the 2,000 loose nukes in Russia? Gotten first responders the equipment they need in case of emergency? Fixed FEMA and Homeland Security? Caught Osama Bin Laden? Tell you what, nail down the jobs that don't require you to wipe your ass with the Constitution first.

There. That should save some time. Now you can jump straight into "Credit cards sell these kinds of records al the time" and "This is an MSM plant to derail Hayden's hearings for the CIA." Keep up the pace, people

Elvis Was a Hero To Most, But He Never Meant Shit To Me

From WLTX:

"These sorts of things are going to upset people, but the truth can be very upsetting," said Brookland-Cayce High School teacher Winston McCuen.

That truth, at least according to McCuen, is that black people are inferior to whites.

"Intellectually, yes they are," said McCuen. "This has been confirmed over and over, and this is a generalization. Again, there are some blacks who are more intelligent than individual whites. But as a rule, that is true. I-Q tests prove it over, and over and over."

News19's J.R. Berry asked McCuen, "Do you think slavery in America was a good thing? "Yes," said McCuen. "In America there was a rational assessment saying listen, if we give these people freedom right as they are and you have to go back to see how they were, you can't assume they were like us.

J.R. asked, "How were they?" "They were coming out of the jungles," said McCuen. "They had been enslaving each other for centuries in Africa, and in terms of being used to rule of law, they knew none of that."

"John C. Calhoun: the greatest South Carolinian in terms of political understanding and wisdom," said McCuen. "And he argued that the institution of slavery was a positive good, and he called it a great good and it was good."

Before talking with us, McCuen posted his views on an internet Web site called "American Renaissance." Most of the comments on the site are aimed at blacks. McCuen's comments are no exception. For instance, last August, McCuen said, "There is no apology to be made for black slavery in America. Why should today's whites apologize for the wisdom of their ancestors?"

J.R. commented to McCuen, "There will be some people that will say those are racist remarks." "They can call them what they will," said McCuen. "But if they call it racist, I just say it's true and you've got to deal with that. I have a responsibility to speak the truth; I believe it is."

Let's ignore the lack of an understandable/logical sentence there at the end (what was that about intellectual inferiority?) and discuss Mr. McCuen's overall assertions....which I can't quite figure out either.

Yes, it's true that slavery was practiced in Africa. And, according to some historians, the practice was far more brutal than America's efforts. Points to McCuen for some form of historical accuracy.

But what exactly is he saying here? Blacks are 'intellectually inferior," yet McCuen himself states that this is a generalization - that some blacks out-test whites. So what's the point?

Apparently, the point is that McCuen is "right," and McCuen has a 'responsibility' to tell that truth. Gosh....I wonder if he got that truth from God.

McCuen's had some "fun" media attention before, in the form of a story regarding his refusal to take down a confederate flag from his last teaching gig.

This brings up an interesting discussion/point, though. Should McCuen be allowed to teach at a mostly-white school because his views on race are, in a lot of people's opinions, bass ackward and loony? If he really doesn't harbor any hatred toward blacks, should his personal opinion on their generalized intellectual abilities keep him from doing his job?

It's tempting to say yes, especially in light of McCuen's "Slavery Was Da Bomb" philosophy.

But should it?

(link courtesy of oliverwillis)

"Medicalizing" Behavior

Jonah Goldberg makes a good point about the desire to explain what appears self-evident (or what we want to appear self-evident) through "science":

Anyway, every day we hear about new studies “revealing” what should have been obvious to sentient beings for generations. A few recent headlines: “Fat kids become fat adults, says new study”: “Housewives not as desperate as singles over 40, a new study finds”; “Drowsiness, inattention play big role in car accidents, study finds.” Every few months newspapers breathlessly report that—surprise!—men and women are different, children are impressionable, and poisons are bad for you. What next? “Research shows wolverines don’t like to be teased”? Or “Running with scissors inadvisable, Mayo Clinic reports”?

How to Translate

While not entirely accurate, this translation of the Iranian President's latest letter to President Bush seems to capture the essence....

Thursday, May 11, 2006

More Stupid Fucking NSA Bullshit (Wiretap THAT, Motherfuckers).

From USAToday:

The National Security Agency has been secretly collecting the phone call records of tens of millions of Americans, using data provided by AT&T, Verizon and BellSouth, people with direct knowledge of the arrangement told USA TODAY.

The NSA program reaches into homes and businesses across the nation by amassing information about the calls of ordinary Americans — most of whom aren't suspected of any crime. This program does not involve the NSA listening to or recording conversations. But the spy agency is using the data to analyze calling patterns in an effort to detect terrorist activity, sources said in separate interviews.

"It's the largest database ever assembled in the world," said one person, who, like the others who agreed to talk about the NSA's activities, declined to be identified by name or affiliation. The agency's goal is "to create a database of every call ever made" within the nation's borders, this person added.

For the customers of these companies, it means that the government has detailed records of calls they made — across town or across the country — to family members, co-workers, business contacts and others.

The three telecommunications companies are working under contract with the NSA, which launched the program in 2001 shortly after the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks, the sources said.

Enough of this. Just....enough.

When concerns were expressed about secret wiretapping, the President of the United States assured us that one end of the calls being tapped must originate outside the U.S. for the government to be able to wiretap it.

Except that, apparently, it mustn't. Apparently, they're just going to do whatever-the-fucko-they'd-like - and let the constitutional lawyers (or "History," as G.W. likes to say) sort it all out.

Like it does with every freakin' issue, this administration draws what it claims is a firm line in the sand - and then proceeds to move that line continuously, depending on whim and, possibly, Tarot cards.

The most interesting/infuriating/telling portion of this? That the three companies who worked with the government on this were contracted to do so. So, essentially, while you were paying AT&T to have lousy cell service, multiple dropped-calls, and questionable billings, AT&T was getting paid by the government to also list every phone call you've ever made.

Translated into one sentence: That phone company done gone and sodomized you twice over.

Hey, Pal

If you'll look to your right, just above the links sidebar, you'll see a shiny, brand-new "Make A Donation" button. Clicking it will lead you over to the good folks at PayPal.

If you enjoy Codemorse, and would like to show your appreciation by throwing a few crumpled dollar bills in the direction of the site, feel free. There would be offers of lapdances in return for the favor but unfortunately exchanging money for sexual services is still very illegal.

I should point out that any donation of twenty dollars or under can be claimed on your taxes as a charitable donation, without the need to provide a reciept or other form of proof.

Any donation of over twenty dollars would be extremely generous, and will earn you a place in Codemorse's "Hall of Heroes" (marble busts and poems about your greatness to be forthcoming).

(Almost) Back in the Saddle


Got back last night from an insane trip around these United States. From Milwaukee to Tampa to Orlando, and back and forth in between D.C. So much to share. So much to catch up on.

Will post soon, once my life obtains some semblance of order.

Until then,

R U Experienced?

Once again, LOST manages to blow my mind.

We've discovered that the hatch is, in all likelihood, a Skinner box. And we've got a new best friend in The Lost Experience, which is attempting to piece together the clues from the sprawling media game that the show is playing with it's viewers right now.

I don't have the time to play the damn thing, so it's nice to have someone doing all the heavy lifting.

X3: The First Review

"X3: The Last Stand" has had a troubled history of director shake-ups, reported script problems, and the eventual hiring of a helmsman who has exactly zero credibility with the quote-unquote fan community.

But none of that matters if the movie ends up being any good, and from the sound of things, it's really good. As always, the possibility exists that this review is a "plant," a studio-doctored film review/promotional advertisement designed to read like a preview screening review.

But since there's no way to know one way or the other, and because I want this movie to kick unholy amounts of ass, I'm choosing to treat this as the real thing.

Loyal readers of the site know that my favorite comic book character of all time appears in X3, and the prospect of Kelsey Grammer doing the character of Henry McCoy justice makes me salivate at the mouth just a little (yes, it's sad, but I've come to grips with it).

Wednesday, May 10, 2006


Raise your hand if you remember Godsmack. Someone must, because their newest album hit #1 on the sales charts.

Over at Magpie, there's an interview up with the band's lead singer, and it's a hell of an interesting read. The interviewer grills the singer on the U.S. Navy's use of Godsmack's songs in their commercials for recruitment, and the whole conversation turns touchy and uncomfortable on a dime.

JAY: So I notice you guys have been really involved with promoting the military. [1]

SULLY: Well, they actually came to us, believe it or not. Somebody in the Navy loves this band, because they used ‘Awake’ for three years and then they came to us and re-upped the contract for another three years for ‘Sick of Life.’ So, I don’t know. They just feel like that music, [laughs] someone in that place thinks that the music is very motivating for recruit commercials I guess. And hey, I’m an American boy so it’s not… I’m proud of it.

JAY: You’re proud of recruiting your fans into the military?

SULLY: Well, no. [laughs, then playfully] Don’t be turning my fucking words around, you!

JAY: Well, tell me what you mean. You said your music is powerful, it’s got an effect, like you said, and you’re letting the military use it. The military, who are they recruiting? 18-to-30-year-olds, right?

SULLY: I guess… I don’t know what their recruit age is. I know it’s at least 18.

JAY: Yeah, they do down in the high schools now.

SULLY: My thing is… Listen, here’s my thing with the military. I’m not saying our government is perfect. Because I know that we make some mistakes and we do shitty things BUT, BUT. You wouldn’t have your job, and we wouldn’t have our lives, if we weren’t out there protecting this country so we could lead a free life. So there’s kind of a ying and a yang to that. Sometimes it’s not always the best choices that we make, or we stick our noses in other people’s shit, but at the same time, we protect this place enough that we’re able to like pursue careers and do what a lot of people in other countries aren’t able to do. They’re kind of picked and they’re chosen to be whatever they become… I’m, I’m, I’m proud to be an American, I’ll tell you that.

JAY: So your country, right or wrong?

SULLY: Uh, no. Not right or wrong. But I’m proud to be an American. I love my country. I’ve seen the depressions and how people live in other countries and how they’re told what to be, and they don’t have the choices that we have. I do love that about our country. So, you know… And I actually sympathize with a lot of the soliders, and the military in general, that are trained to go out and protect FOR us, and what they have to go through, it’s really kind of shitty in a sense that these young kids have to go over there and die, sometimes, for something that isn’t our fucking problem. And that kind of sucks. So what I have to do is at least support them, because they don’t have the choice that we do.

JAY: They don’t have the choice because…?

SULLY: Because they’ve decided to fight for our country.

JAY: And they decided to do that because…?

SULLY: [laughs]…

JAY: Of your song…?

It gets worse. Much worse. Then Sully hangs up.

Reading the whole thing (and don't ask me why I do these things...I don't know), you get the distinct impression that Jay is trolling for a fight. He's viscerally upset about Godsmack's involvement with the military, and his approach to the interview is spikey - laced with a sort of passive-aggressive indignation.

Which, frankly, is sort of pitiful.

I found myself siding with the singer over the course of reading this thing, and I'd be surprised if many people didn't. Sully seems capitalistically open-minded about supporting the ideals of America and the military, while simultaneously not requiring that you agree with what they're doing. That sounds like a pretty mature, respectable opinion to me.

Ironically, this Jay fellow reminds me of far too many "Blame America first" conservatives, who associate the act of criticism with being a traitor.

(link courtesy of DownWithTyranny!)

Pro(paganda) and Con(servative)

From a National Republican Senatorial Committee fundraising email, courtesy of The Plank:

It's becoming clear that if the liberal Democrat leadership takes control of Congress, they will embark on a destructive agenda of politically motivated "investigations" of President Bush and his administration.

The Washington Post reported this week that House and Senate Democrats are salivating over the possibility of convening hearings on everything from the War in Iraq to the National Security Agency's terrorist surveillance program.

They want nothing more than to create a three-ring political circus they know will get favorable coverage from the liberal media so that they can discredit, and then undo the Bush tax cuts and other important elements of the Bush agenda.

And it's even likely that Democrats - should they take over the House and Senate - will try to impeach President Bush....

....The likely Democrat Chairman of the House Judiciary Committee (where impeachment begins), has already made it clear that he supports such action. Rep. John Conyers (D-MI) has already sponsored a resolution calling for an investigation with the clear aim of initiating impeachment proceedings against President Bush. Already, 35 Democrats plus Senate candidate Bernie Sanders (I-VT) have signed on as cosponsors.

And this week on Meet The Press, House Democrat Leader Nancy Pelosi (who will likely become Speaker if Democrats take control of the House) said of the possibility of impeachment: "you never know where the facts take you."

Well, I think it's pretty clear where the Democrats will take us.

....Towards the facts?

There's no surprise anymore in reading these sorts of emails and propoganda - on either side of the political divide.

It's just useful to be reminded of how little our "representatives" care about doing what's best for this country.

And who's fault is that, really? Well, not to bitch-slap the proverbial Caballo muerto, but it's ours. It seems to me that politicians are operating at a level of pure job-retainment, and that they're able to do so because no one pays attention to what they're doing unless it's about a) abortion, b) gay marriage, or c) terrorism. Even then, it's not as if anyone's watching what they're actually doing - we just get all worked up about the inflammatory rhetoric and then retreat to grouse anther day.

I'm guiltier than most. But what do you do about something like this? How do you increase accountability? How do you cultivate the idea of accountability as virtue in the eyes of the American public? When the word "investigations" can be used in such a pejorative fashion, in the face of the obvious need for some sort of investigation/oversight/accountability (apparently the word of the day....everybody scream!) what - if anything - can we do to decrease the partisan emotion-baiting and engage the collective American intellect?


(link courtesy of

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Ready, Set G(eronim)o

From The Corner on NRO:

There's an interesting article on the front-page of the WSJ this morning about the mystery of
Geronimo's skull (no free link) — it seems that it may have been stolen from its gravesite some years ago, possibly by members of Yale's Skull and Bones society. This allegation, for which there is some less-than-conclusive evidence, understandably has a few modern-day Apaches upset. But check out this graf:

"Who in the hell would do such a thing?" asks Raleigh Thompson, a former council member for the San Carlos Apache Tribe who has taken part in efforts to bring Geronimo's remains to its Arizona reservation. "I guess it's the way my elders used to explain to me that white people are," he adds.

Can you imagine a newspaper printing a similar comment about non-whites — say, about black residents of New Orleans in the immediate aftermath of Hurricane Katrina? There would be a furor, and deservedly so. But this comment, aimed at America's official oppressor race, will barely cause a yawn.

I love/loathe posts like this. I love them, because they get my panties in a bunch. I loathe them, because they get my panties in a bunch. I'm a complicated (pantied) creature, apparently.

I'm not sure if John J. Miller realizes the literalism of the term "America's official oppressor race" when used in conjunction with the Native American population.

It's very fashionable these days to complain that racism against whites is one of the few remaining "accepted" prejudices. To some extent I'm sympathetic to that. No one likes to be insulted racially, and those people who claim that we somehow psychically deserve the guilt for oppression committed by our ancestors are the same sort of people who enjoy Opus Dei-style thigh barbs.

But let's face it, folks - we done gone and fucked the Injuns over. Not just hundreds of years ago (though, rest assured, we fucked them ROYALLY then), but throughout American history. As Chris Rock commented both hysterically and poignantly, when was the last time you saw a family of Native Americans out to dinner together? Um, never?

Having a group of Ivy-League, Secret Society blue bloods steal the skull of one of your more revered ancestors in some sort of liquor-fueled hazing ritual would indeed continue a pattern of turning the Native American population over and collectively shaking them for lunch money. Or, if you prefer your metaphors blue, a pattern of continually sodomizing them for shits and giggles.

I give Miller credit for realizing that this sort of thing is going to understandably upset "a few modern-day Apaches," but there's a reason that it'll only upset a few of them, John. There aren't many of them left.

Monday, May 08, 2006

3 Viewpoints On Impossible Missions

Me, on Mission Impossible 3:

"Man, I loved that! What great action! I don't get why people give a shit what Tom Cruise is like in real life. Isn't the whole point of being an actor to become someone else? Wasn't Lawrence Olivier kind of a prick? Wasn't Peter O'Toole a drunk and a womanizer? Doesn't Russell Crowe throw phones and write insulting poetry and shit? Aren't they some of "our" greatest actors? Why the fuck should someone who likes to jump on couches and worship Xenu be any different? Did you see those stunts? Hot damn. Summer's here, baby!"

My lady, on Mission Impossible 3:


And as always, Vern continues to show why he is the single greatest film critic working today:

Already I've seen people online complaining that you don't find out what The Rabbit Foot is and you don't see how Ethan steals it. As if it was some kind of mistake. They just ran out of budget and couldn't film the scene. Or they forgot to film it. I just can't relate to these people who get upset and confused every time a movie tries some small thing to be a tiny bit different. Their movie watching licenses should probaly be suspended.

Okay if it's such a problem here you go. Imagine this little speech is in the movie, it will straighten things out.

What the hell are we dealing with here? This isn't an actual rabbit is it?

I'm afraid it's not an actual rabbit's foot, and it sure as hell doesn't bring good luck. The Rabbit's Foot is a biological weapon, the baddest of the bad. You want to know how bad this thing is? So bad nobody will take credit for it. IMF, CIA, NSA, KGB, WWE... the deepest, darkest, black bag, black ops, off the record undercover top secret spooks in the world won't even put their names on this. Because some day they'll have to face God.

What does it do?

I'll tell you what it does. It makes your worst nightmares look like a day at the circus, or a dog show. The Easter bunny brings you eggs, this one brings you torment and horror. It wipes out the planet in less time than it takes to zip up your pants. Or unzip. Either one. Even diluted times a thousand, one drop of this stuff could turn an entire ocean into acid. On land, one thimbleful, or an amount the size of a baby kangaroo, could wipe out an area twice the size of Antarctica.

But Antarctica is the largest continent, there isn't an area twice the size of Antarctica.

And there especially won't be if Davion gets the Rabbit's Foot. Millions will die. Their lungs will melt inside their chests and start dripping out their assholes. They'll start puking up shit that looks like marshmallow creme. Their skin will fall off their bodies in one piece and their muscles will start to shrivel and when they look in the mirror and see skeletons they'll still be alive and screaming for 5-10 more minutes.

Birds and deer will go crazy and start attacking cars. Swarms of ants will be attracted to anything metal. Bees will gather at the northernmost point of every city and start stinging each other. World leaders will rip off each other's clothes and start fucking in the streets. A nightmare that will make World War 2 look like a particulary tame bat mitzvah or maybe a church picnic of some kind, on a really nice day with good sandwiches and everything. Something like that. What I'm saying is this thing is bad.

Thank you. Now that I understand specifically what it does instead of leaving it up to my imagination, this situation is much more dramatic in my opinion.

Ethan, wait. There's one more thing.


Good luck. You're gonna need it.


Also I've always loved you, but we can talk about that later I guess.

Later dude.