Friday, August 26, 2005

Human Zoo!

The Intelligent Design folks will be less than amused.

LONDON - Caged and barely clothed, eight men and women monkeyed around for the crowds Friday in an exhibit labeled “Humans” at the London Zoo...London Zoo spokeswoman Polly Wills says that’s exactly the question the zoo wants to answer.

“Seeing people in a different environment, among other animals ... teaches members of the public that the human is just another primate,” Wills said...

...Tom Mahoney, 26, decided to participate after his friend sent him an e-mail about the contest as a joke. Anything that draws attention to apes, he said, has his support. "A lot of people think humans are above other animals,” he told the Associated Press. “When they see humans as animals, here, it kind of reminds us that we’re not that special."


Can you imagine the uproar if the Central Park zoo pulled this stunt? Humans not that special? Balderdash, you loopy brits!
Meanwhile, reassurance that our friends from across the pond aren't that different from us, after all:

Melissa Wecker, 21, was disappointed that the humans were wearing swimsuits beneath their fig leaves. “They’re not doing anything. It looked lots better on the news,” she complained.

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Harry Potter, Watch Your Back


The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe is coming to theaters this Christmas, and images from the film are popping up with increasing frequency all over the web.
As a young lad, The Chronicles of Narnia rocked my tiny, suburban world, and all the promotional materials from the film adaptation of the most famous book in the series have me getting increasingly stoked to see it.

I still remember building a tiny chair out of popsicle sticks and painting it silver for my third-grade book report on "The Silver Chair" (another book in Lewis' series). From what they've released thus far, The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe looks to be challenging Harry Potter in the quality-films-for-families department.

You can go HERE to check out the impressive trailer, and read up on the source material. Or, just type "C.S. Lewis" into google and sift away.

What I'm Listening To

-Common Rotation: "The Big Fear"
-Fall-Out Boy: "Sugar, We're Going Down" single
-Sonny Rollins: "Complete Prestige Recordings"
-Span: "Stay As You Are" single
-Heat - Motion Picture Soundtrack

You guys?

Retro Rocket Is Without A Clue


The new RR column is up now at Average Joes. This week, I'm reviewing "Without A Clue," a wonderful, goofy little film with some fantastic actors. I ran the prototype for this review here at codemorse, but RR's version is MUCH-improved and packed with calcium for healthy bones and teeth.

Feed Your Peepers

Discovery Institute Makes the World Safe For Those Who Suspect Sun Revolves Around The Earth

From Discovery Institute's "Responses to Critics" section:

Discovery Institute’s Center for Science and Culture opposes efforts to teach creationism or religion in public school science classes. It encourages schools to teach students about the scientific debates over neo-Darwinism, not religious debates about the theory.

From Discovery Institute's "Science" section:

We are told by Darwinists that evolution is the "universal acid" eating away all traditional ideas and values, that man is just a complex but soul-less "meat machine," no different from any Cartesian animal, and thus subject to manipulation and experimentation like any other species - as least, those of us incapable of protecting ourselves, such as the sick, the elderly, and the unborn.
'I can believe in neo-Darwinian evolution without necessarily adopted (sic) a repugnant philosophy and morality, can't I?' The answer, ultimately, is no. Most people who think vaguely about Darwinism don't focus on the fact that the hypothesis utterly and absolutely excludes
any purpose, intelligence, or meaning in the development of life.

So the argument is clear: Intelligent Design postulates that there is a purpose and intelligence behind the development of life. More specifically, the development of HUMAN life, which is apparently more special than other "Cartesian animals." How is this thinking not like Sunday School? How is intelligent design explained as anything but a religious explanation of life's "development"?

You can read and decide for yourself whether or not Intelligent Design is worth your time. The Discovery Institute's webpage is located HERE, and the above quotes are just a taste of the hypocrisy and faith-masquerading-as-science located within.

McCain Disappoints

John McCain, front-runner candidate for the Republican Presidential ticket in 2008, has endorsed the teaching of Intelligent Design.

Up until this announcement, given a choice between Hillary Clinton and McCain, I would have picked McCain in a heart-beat. But now, I don't know what the hell to do.
Sure, I'm liberal. But I'd rather vote Bubbles the chimp into the White House than continue our new American tradition of creating family aristocracies (see: families Bush and Clinton). Clinton is a smart woman who seems to have done well by her New York constituents. But she's also a "democrat" in the loosest possible sense of the word and a blatant opportunist who will chase video-game manufacturers for pixellated sex, but NOT computerized car-jacking and murder.

McCain's inane endorsement rings as a hollow attempt to begin courting the all-important christian-whacko vote. I want to know how comfortable he is with his children being taught that a giant snake swallows the sun at the end of each day, and that the stars are actually fruit hanging from the branches of the World-tree.

After all, children have a right to be exposed to all "theories," don't they?

AAAAARRRGGGGHHHH

ROCHESTER, N.H. - As doctors warn more patients that they should lose weight, the advice has backfired on one doctor with a woman filing a complaint with the state saying he was hurtful, not helpful...

...“I told a fat woman she was obese,” [Dr.] Bennett says. “I tried to get her attention. I told her, 'You need to get on a program, join a group of like-minded people and peel off the weight that is going to kill you.'"...

...Her complaint, filed about a year ago, was initially investigated by a panel of the New Hampshire Board of Medicine, which recommended that Bennett be sent a confidential letter of concern. The board rejected the suggestion in December and asked the attorney general’s office to investigate...

..."'Physicians have to be professional with patients and remember everyone is an individual. You should not be inflammatory or degrading to anyone,” said board member Kevin Costin.'"...

Unbelievable. Absolutely, positively, unbe-friggin'-lievable.
This sort of lunatic nonsense is the reason why no one in their right mind becomes a Doctor. The hours are long, the pay greatly reduced, and the number of litigious, complaint-minded, idiot patients is overwhelming.

We are creating a nation of whiny, pathetic, thin-skinned morons. The more that people tolerate this sort of ridiculous behavior, the more our country will genuinely suffer as a result.

Lady, you're fat. Deal with it. Dr. Bennett, keep up the good work.

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Old School II: School Hard

Chud.com is reporting that Old School 2 is now officially in the works.
While no one has been locked in, casting-wise, apparently Luke Wilson and Will Ferrell have both said they'd be interested.

Ferrell's an interesting case of "too much, too fast" for me. I loved his Frank the Tank in the original Old School, and he slayed me in Anchorman. But recent efforts (Kicking and Screaming, Bewitched, the upcoming NASCAR comedy) leave me colder than Anne Coulter at the DNC convention. His whole schtick is wearing thin, and I think he'd be wise to cool it for a while and let people (i.e.: me, I suppose) get excited about him again.

On the other hand, your percieved time to shine in Hollywood is an ever-shrinking window these days, so Ferrell's probably trying to sock away as much bank as possible before the next great comedy hope comes barrelling along.

Monday, August 22, 2005

The Retro Rocket Takes Off


Pretty neat, eh?
Retro Rocket is my new weekly column at The Average Joes Net. I'll be writing up films from our collective past, starting with that under-appreciated early nineties gem, "Pump Up The Volume."

I'll be running through some of my old "Appreciations," and those of you who read me here may notice some initial overlap. However, Retro Rocket will soon be stocking all-new, exclusive content. Which would be a selling point if my readership rose into the triple digits.

I encourage you to head over to The Average Joes. They've been building steam for the past few weeks, and the site's run by one swingin' playa. While you're there, check out Retro Rocket. I'll be glad you did.

Idiocracy of Dunces

Mike Judge's long-untitled new film apparently has a title at last.
"Idiocracy" had its first screening, and I'm hopping up and down to see this thing. Office Space remains one of the great modern comedies because, silly as it is, it has a lot to say about the modern work environment and its soul-killing effects.

A comedy about the dumbing-down of America seems perfect for Judge's humor, and its full of the kind of opportunities for subtle commentary that Judge exercised so damn hysterically in Office Space.

(Courtesy of AICN)