Watched a portion of the MTV music video awards last night and was struck by how amazingly old it made me feel. I was also floored by R. Kelly's mondo-bizarro performance art piece. I've seen bits and pieces of "Trapped In The Closet," R. Kelly's supposed R&B "opera," but I've never listened to it for longer than sixteen bars; the melody is maddeningly repetitious in a headache-inducing sort of way.
I was so transfixed by R. Kelly's sloppily lipsynched, Martha Graham-ish solo interpretation of the song that I listened to the entire thing from start to finish. And I've come to the conclusion that R. Kelly is bugfuck crazy. And apparently, so is America.
We all know that R. Kelly stands accused of fourteen counts of child pornography, sexual misconduct with a minor, etc, et al. Yet, unlike Mssr. Michael Jackson, R. Kelly's career has flourished in a real and eyebrow-raising fashion. I think it says a hell of a lot about our nation's attitudes regarding gender. A grown man stands accused by a young boy of touching him inappropriately, and that man is publically, brutally stretched across the coals. He is ostracized, condemned, and will never, ever acheive the level of popularity he once enjoyed.
Another grown man stands accused of some pretty filthy sex with young girls and his album sales soar. According to Mtv News, Kelly had to get permission from the judge in his "child pornography case" in order to perform at the show, where he was greeted by rapturous applause. What's wrong with that picture? And what's wrong with our country?
On a lighter note, "Trapped in the Closet" is the silliest damn song I've ever heard. I wanted to post the end lyrics of the thing, but apparently the live version included brand new lyrics that aren't published yet, and they're the ones that made me laugh the hardest.
The long and the short of it is that Kelly chooses the names "Rufus" and "Chuck" for two of the characters in the song, and there's something like a full minute where the lyrics consist of nothing but "And so Chuck said to Rufus, and then Rufus said to Chuck!" This is sung so passionately, and so often, that it becomes hilarious. Around the twentieth time Relly belted out "Rufus!" I just lost it and started laughing.
I'll find a clip of it online at some point today, and post it for everyone. Comedy, thy name is accused child pornographer.