Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Bring On The Brundleflies

According to a post by Tom Tomorrow, we may be seeing "Standing Room Only" seats on airplanes in the none-too-distant future (cue theramin).

The airlines have come up with a new answer to an old question: How many passengers can be squeezed into economy class?

A lot more, it turns out, especially if an idea still in the early stage should catch on: standing-room-only “seats.” Airbus has been quietly pitching the standing-room-only option to Asian carriers, though none have agreed to it yet. Passengers in the standing section would be propped against a padded backboard, held in place with a harness, according to experts who have seen a proposal.

Here's the graphic that the NY Times published, blatantly swiped from Tomorrow's site (which he'd swiped, one presumes, from the Times):

Pretty "sweet," eh?

It doesn't look uncomfortable, per se, but I can't imagine spending a nine-hour flight in a harness. I have enough trouble obeying the seatbelt rules. It makes sense that this was pitched toward Asia, first, because no one there seems to care about living/travelling in spaces larger than, say, a shoebox.

Flying has mutated into a weirdly uncomfortable flying-bus ride. With news that airlines are now going to be charging more for the aisle seats, we get a nice, clear picture of just how dead-broke/tight-fisted and miserly the airline industry is.

Expect some more nifty innovations in the near-future. Like the "seating with a view" option, where passengers are strapped to the wings with duct-tape and bailing wire. Or the "pay toilet." Or, if we're lucky, the "bribe money to insure a sober pilot" fee.

None of this matters, of course. Airlines will become irrelevant once teleportation is introduced into the market. Despite the odd Brundlefly mishap, most Americans (myself included) will opt to risk the possibility of becoming contaminated with fly dna to avoid the experience of perching their asses on a "cushioned" shelf for hours-on-end.


At 10:52 AM, Blogger Jabawacefti said...

Well, it looks more like an amusement park ride that way...maybe that's what they're going for...


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