Chicken Apocalypse

From the High Springs Herald:

HIGH SPRINGS — After seeing High Springs firefighters toting rifles through a neighborhood and shooting at chickens last week, residents said they are infuriated....Residents said they were not notified that the shooting would happen, that they worried about the safety of their children and pets, and that firefighters ran through private property without permission.

When the shooting was over, residents said they were left to deal with injured chickens and a bloody mess.

....50 wild chickens that nested in the woods surrounding the area had begun to leave the woods and cause trouble for residents. Roosters crowed at street lights at all hours of the night. Hens tore up yards and left feces in them for residents to step in. The fowl stood in the streets and upheld traffic.When the cars in the neighborhood were parked, the chickens flew atop them to roost and left scratches.

Some residents even complained that they were afraid to leave their homes because the roosters were aggressive and chased people.

Code enforcement officials were first enlisted to capture the animals, but the chickens’ speed and ability to fly made attempts nearly impossible....Traps with high quality feed inside them were put out to lure in the chickens, but after a hen was captured, roosters started to guard the traps and keep chickens away from them, Drumm said.

Officials put alcohol in the birds’ food to try to slow them down, but that didn’t work either, Drumm said.

You'd think they were dealing with a race of hyper-intelligent Super-Chickens from reading this.

The Chickens' speed and ability to fly made capture "nearly impossible?" For God's sake, people - they're Chickens, not winged cheetahs.

Stories like this continue to make me happy to live on the godless, heathen, liberal streets of New York City, where we prefer to shoot unarmed black people, not farm animals.