Friday, December 09, 2005

Are You Ready To Rapturrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre

I punched "The Rapture" into Google, and found Rapture Ready, a website devoted to preparing the faithful for imminent annihilation. There's a truck-load of interesting/disturbing/pants-wettingly-spooky/inspirational stuff there.

Rather than click aimlessly, I hit the "FAQ" button. Listed is a series of topics that Rapture Ready apparently finds itself confronted with often.

Come, learn along with me as I explore the topics alphabetically (while rhyming quite contagiously):

On the Antichrist:
Q: "Is the Pope the Antichrist?"
A: I don't think the Pope can be the Antichrist, because the Antichrist will likely be accepted by the Jews as their Messiah. Because the Pope heads an organization of one billion followers, it is very logical to conclude that the Pontiff will someday fulfill a major the role in the Antichrist’s false church.

Oh, yes. Quite logical.

On the Bible:
Q: "Are there errors in the Bible?"
A: Realistically, the question of the Bible's inerrancy has often divided the church from the world and occasionally has divided the church within itself. But the real question is not whether 100 generations of monks and scribes were able to copy every letter perfectly by hand. More important is the Bible's unparalleled history of saving lives, changing the world and speaking wisdom and truth into the most difficult situations. Next to that profound truth, a person’s inability to find where Cain's wife came from seems less and less important.
On the Bible II,
Q: "Are there books missing from the Bible?"
A: No. Some scholars say that those who decided which texts to include in the King James Bible left out some manuscripts that God meant to have included. These same scholars say that some texts were included that should not have been. One such example is the Book of Revelation.

We must realize that God is an all-knowing, hands-on God. We should rest in the knowledge that He has seen to it that every word of the Holy Bible was specially chosen by the Creator of the universe

But...wait...you just said those Monks might have screwed up some stuff. Don't these two answers cancel each other out?...

Tomorrow: the letter "C"!

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