Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Superman: Obvious Communist. Probably Gay.

Posted by codemorse

Raise your hand if you're tired of having your patriotism questioned. You can't see it, but Superman just raised his hand.

From Debbie Schlussel:

In World War II, Superman's comic book inventors had him fighting
the Nazis. Today, they won't dare show him fighting contemporary
Nazis--Islamofascists. Lex Luthor working with Al-Qaeda terrorists, with both evil forces getting defeated--now that would have been dynamic and exciting, a great plot. But, unfortunately, too politically incorrect, current, and exciting for the Hollywood culturatti. Maybe that's why "Truth, Justice & the American Way," is now just "Truth & Justice (and all that other stuff)." Though, the studio didn't have a problem lying to its prospective American audience by using the
American flag and the full phrase (including "The AMERICAN Way")- both absent in the movie--in promotional posters for the movie.

Some have asked
whether Superman is still relevant post-9/11. He would be . . . if he were fighting the post-9/11 enemy and being a man while doing so.

Ooooh, snap!

There are two competing, idiotic assertions here. The first is that if Hollywood had, y'know, BALLS, they'd make a Superman movie where he takes down the terrorists like a righteous avenger clutching an American flag (which he then hoists skyward).

Let's not bother trying to explain to Ms. Schlussel that Lex Luthor, operating independently of any government or sponsoring entity, drunk on ambition and planning to kill billions of people by wiping out the continent of North America, is kind of the textbook definition of a terrorist.

Such concise logic might cause severe psychic harm. Apparently, when Ms. Schlussel says "terrorists," she means "Arabs." Because, as we all know, the only terrorists that matter are the middle-eastern ones.

Never mind that. What I'd like to focus on is this idea that by substituting "and all that stuff" for "the American way," that Superman Returns is somehow taking an enormous super-leak all over our country.

Superman has always been the most American of super-heroes (with the notable exception of Captain America). He's as American as Mom, Apple Pie, Jazz, or NASCAR. Just glance at the Superman we've seen on film thus far. The one who stood atop the White House and assured the President that he'd take care of things.

But somehow, because the writers of the film have Perry White making an off-the-cuff reference/homage to the classic Supes tagline, all that background ceases to matter. It's as if each film should include an obvious America shout-out to appease the concerned pundit comics-fanbase.

If Schlussel had ever, say, read a Superman comic, she'd see a character in love with his country, but filled with compassion for the world. She'd see a Superman that airlifts food to the starving in Africa. A Superman who has, in point of fact, taken on the occasional rogue dictator.

But of course, what matters here is that liberal Hollywood is once again attempting to denigrate America by reducing one of its icons to namby-pamby, multi-cultural, metrosexualness:

Instead, we get a dumbed down, girlie-man version of Superman in "Superman Returns." Like every sensitive, slacker metrosexual, Supe's gone off for five years to "discover himself." In the meantime, Lex Luthor gets out of prison because Supe failed to show up to testify at his trial. And the dullest Lois Lane ever has a child out of wedlock. Nice message to send to your kids who will be begging to see this.

In what is more reminiscent of a Maury Povich "Who's the Daddy?" show than a Superman plot, Lois apparently slept around and thinks the cutesy kid--very annoying and distracting in the film--is her fiance's child, not that of the other guy she was simultaneously sleeping with--the Man of Steel.

I think my brain just blew up. Nevermind that Lois doesn't think this in the film, and that it doesn't take much to figure that out. So, Superman is a "girlie-man. (code for gay)" Yet he's slept with Lois Lane. What, exactly, makes Superman girly? Never mind! Debbie doesn't have time for things like explanations! Next wildly-unsubstantiated point, please!

Still, aside from its dullness and the poor examples it sets for kids, "Superman Returns" is a fun, escapist film.

HUH?! She liked it? Mongo confused.

And I'm not the only one who's confused. Because apparently, everyone's buying into this ridiculousness.

From Michelle Malkin:

I sat through about half of Superman Returns yesterday. The movie was boring and gave me a headache. But that's just me. Guess I'm just one of those people who doesn't have the patience for Hollyweird escapism that pits softened not-so-superheroes against rootless, not-so-arch enemies. It's a 9/11 thing, I think.

Actually, it's sort of an ethnic thing. Explain to me again why Luthor isn't a terrorist? Other than the fact that his bald pate isn't wrapped in a turban?

It's moments like these that you wish Superman really did exist. I'd like to see him fly over to Debbie's place and ask her about the last time she saved a shuttle and an airplane at the same time, then tap his red-bootied foot impatiently as he waits expectantly for an answer.


At 11:29 AM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Makes me sick.

At 11:45 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

Sarcasm? :)

Loved your Wrandoms post, by the way.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Not you, Debbie and Malkin. Just because something doesn't fit in their narrow worldview it is wrong. I wish I thought she'd respond to you. It'd be an interesting dialogue.

At 11:50 AM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Thanks. :-D

At 11:58 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

It would be, wouldn't it?

I wish she would, too. I got an email from a Schlussel fan accusing me of "baiting" her for evil liberal purposes, but that's really not the case (as I tried to explain). I just think that if you're going to say something, you should back it up. And when you're wrong, or when your opinion is questioned, as a person who's essentially selling her opinion, she should attempt an explanation, rather than simply censor her critics.

I like to think that when I've spouted off too hard (as I do - a lot), I'm able to at least acknowledge and consider that criticism. When Jabs, who will always be far more articulate and calm than I, points out that I'm being ridiculous, 90% he's right.

That isn't easy to admit, and I hate it sometimes when I'm called on an opinion that's questionable. But if I expect anyone to value my opinion, I think that willingness is necessary.

Blahblahblah...I talk too much.

At 12:04 PM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

I went over there and read the comments and there was a conservative who basically came to her and said some of the same things you did and so far no response.

At 12:28 PM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 1:14 PM, Anonymous portia said...

That Malkin quote, as usual, slays me. I can't wrap my head around the mindset of people who want, badly, to live in that world of terrorism and fear and death 24/7, and for everything around them to reflect that pseudoreality. Up to and including their "entertainment."

There is supposed to be a distinction between what entertains us and the real world, because we are supposed to enjoy our entertainment. Think for a moment about the kind of person who enjoys entertainment of the September 11th variety.

There was no Superman that day, just a lot of us looking for our families. You can't re-write that, and you can't spin it, and you can't ultimately benefit from it, no matter how hard you try.

At 1:48 PM, Blogger codemorse said...

What's interesting is how the standard for films changes, depending on whether or not Malkin agrees with the underlying propaganda.

It's not okay for a movie like Good Night and Good Luck to talk about McCarthy, because movies should be about entertainment.

At the same time, if a film neglects to bolster America's place in the iconography of a comic book movie, then being entertaining suddenly isn't enough. You've got to gird your super-loins with the flag.

At 4:26 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This whole post was just spot on and sharp as a dagger. Loved it.

At 4:40 PM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

"You've got to gird your super-loins with the flag."

But wouldn't that be desecration? See you just can't win.

At 3:51 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

Gracias, anonymous.

At 4:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I loved this post too! Told Codemorse about it, but wanted to post it for reals. I would love to see/read a debate between Debbie S. and Codemorse. I'm sure it would end in her just getting louder and louder so no opposing views(truths?) could be presented, but it would be fun to witness.

At 8:32 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

We're all about fun here at Codemorse, and that would be fun indeed.

Thanks, Adam.


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