Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Defending Zidane

Posted by codemorse

UPDATE!

Katanga provides us with this link to Zidane obliterating the Death Star with the power of his mighty cranium!

Arrrrrr!

Original Post:

From Sports Illustrated:


Zinedine Zidane is not a flopper or a whiner or a moaner. I have never seen him pull one of those scenes from the last act of La Boheme, enacting his death tableau on the field after the merest brush of contact. I haven't seen him lying there at death's door while they go through with the most ridiculous of all dramas, the entry of the stretcher.

Imagine if the NFL were like that. Half a dozen stretchers called for during the course of the game, whereupon the nearly deceased leaps off it, shakes off the very fingers of the Evil One and trots back onto the field. Maybe Zidane was tired of all this, of this travesty, which rewards all the things that we were once taught were cowardly, but can be used to great advantage in this game.

So Zidane slammed a guy. He lost it. Writers all over the world are competing with themselves to heap scorn on France's greatest player. You know something? I don't blame him for getting sore. Almost every time I could find him on the screen, he had someone tugging at his shirt, tripping him or messing with him in some sneaky way.

The problem is he doesn't hit the canvas as the rest of those prima donnas do. So the ref must figure nothing is happening. Sure, he should have held off on the head butt, but to put the defeat of his team on his shoulders is a reach.

Amen, Dr. Z.

"Flopping," that most detestable of strategies, makes me angry enough to headbutt someone. Is it any wonder that Zidane indulged? I love the World Cup, and I have since Jabs first schooled me on it, but I've detested flopping for just as long.

It's just such a sissy move. I don't care how "dramatic" or "strategic" it is. It's a distraction from the skills that soccer requires, and it's an affront to sportsmanship.

6 Comments:

At 11:05 AM, Anonymous portia said...

I actually thought the butt heard 'round the world was a classy way to go out. Play hard and ride it all the way out.

 
At 12:47 PM, Blogger Ben Miro said...

I fucking love it. It was as if for one brief millisecond soccer wasn't totally boring!

Zuckuss...Zangief...whatever your name is, I SALUTE YOU!!!

 
At 1:06 PM, Blogger Jabawacefti said...

That's an awesome link.

 
At 1:41 PM, Blogger codemorse said...

Personally, I think soccer could use more contact. That'd definately lure in the Americans.

God, how I hate flopping. And I loved the head butt. It was righteous.

Isn't it crazy how popular the Cup was in the states this time around?

 
At 3:55 PM, Blogger Jabawacefti said...

There is nothing worse for soccer than flopping. That's why high school soccer was great. In my entire three year career, I saw maybe two yellow cards. Two. In about 45-50 games.

And when you fell, you were embarrassed. And not attempting to look like you were hit by a sniper.

But trust me when I tell you, there is contact in soccer. Just not nearly so much padding.

 
At 1:37 AM, Blogger Charlie Brigden said...

It's like saying 'Ok, he punched me, so I'll shoot him!' You do not headbutt people in football, I don't care what someone says to you. That's the deal about being a great player, that you rise above that shite and soak up the pressure.

Then again, Zidane has never been an angel. It's not even the first time he's been sent off for headbutting.

 

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