Thursday, June 01, 2006

Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome

I love the NY Post.

Usually, that would cheekily mean that I not-so-secretly despise the Post (I'm sneaky that way). And really, I do. The NY Post is Manhattan's best-selling tabloid, gussied up to look like a "real" newspaper.

Yet, today (oddly), I find myself courting sincerity.

Why, you ask? Because of this headline, dear readers:


Poetry, thy name is the Post.

But where I'd ordinarily find myself grinning snidely at such bombast, today I find myself sharing the Post's boundless reservoirs of rage/contempt.

Here's some actual information:

The Homeland Security Department announced it was hacking funds distributed to the city by 40 percent compared with last year, while pouring hundreds of millions into unlikely terror targets like Kentucky and Wyoming.

The shocking stinginess from Washington comes just one week after a Pakistani national was convicted of a plot to blow up the Herald Square subway station. New York City will get its vital anti-terror funding chain-sawed from $208 million this year to $124 million next year - even though security experts agree it is vastly more threatened than any other city in the country....

New York City absorbed more than half of the nationwide cut of $119 million in money for urban areas....Even as New York braced for massive cuts, several small-city mayors were poised to bask in a security bonanza. Seven cities that got big increases have populations smaller than Staten Island.

Louisville, Ky. - home to Rep. Hal Rogers (R-Ky.), who chairs a powerful Homeland Security Appropriations subcommittee - got almost $9 million. Memphis, in the home state of Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist(R-Tenn.), got $4 million....

Of the 46 cities that got special grants, New York City ranks 23rd per capita, getting $16 per person. But residents of Fort Lauderdale, Fla., got $67 per person, and residents of Atlanta got $45.

Of course, the fact the Vice President Cheney's home state is Wyoming has absolutely nothing to do with that state's increase in funding. That, and the reports of Terrorist cells racing around Jackson Hole, tipping cows and scaring skiers.

Does that sound "elitist" and "blue state" of me?

Of course, it wouldn't be the NY Post without some eyebrow-raising commentary:
"As far as I'm concerned, the Department of Homeland Security and the administration have declared war on New York," said Rep. Peter King (R-L.I.), chairman of the House Homeland Security Committee. "It's a knife in the back to New York and I'm going to do everything I can to make them very sorry they made this decision."

Those of you with memories more powerful than goldfish will remember "Anatomy of an Annoying Conservative," an article I wrote last week on the tendency of conservatives to favor 24/7 WAR metaphors (among other things). That particular habit continues unabated. For comparison's sake, let's take a look at Senator Schumer's remarks:

"I don't think the president should come back to New York and stand in solidarity with us without changing this formula," said Schumer (D-N.Y.). "This is unfair. This is wrong. This is an outrage. This is basically abandoning New York."

Notice a difference in approach?

This is not to say that Schumer is better/smarter/righter than Representative King. This is to say, however, that there are real, quantifiable patterns of behavior that potentially draw people to the "left" and "right," patterns which have little to do with politics, and more to do with personality.

Which, I suppose, means that I have the personality of a wishy-washy peacenik Lib.

But I'm comfy with that.


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