Thursday, May 18, 2006

1-800-Pat-Robertson: For All Your Psychic Needs

From MSN:

VIRGINIA BEACH, Va. - In another in a series of notable pronouncements, religious broadcaster Pat Robertson says God told him storms and possibly a tsunami will hit America's coastline this year.

Robertson has made the predictions at least four times in the past two weeks on his news-and-talk television show "The 700 Club" on the Christian Broadcasting Network, which he founded. Robertson said the
revelations about this year's weather came to him during his annual personal prayer retreat in January.


"If I heard the Lord right about 2006, the coasts of America will
be lashed by storms," Robertson said May 8. On Wednesday, he added, "There well may be something as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest."


So let's get this straight:
The "Lord" told Robertson something in January. IF he heard God-The-Father correctly, the COASTS of AMERICA will be lashed by STORMS. There MAY be SOMETHING as bad as a tsunami in the Pacific Northwest.

For those who haven't attended law school, or met a fortune teller, this is what is known as "hedging your bets." Let's take a look at the littering of conditionals and maybes coming out of the Preacher's mouth. IF. Coasts. America. Storms. May. Something.

In other words, at some point, at some time this year, some portion of America may (or may not, Robertson apparently didn't have the hearing aid up at full volume when Jehovah started burning His bush) be hit by storms.

Telephone psychics aren't that vague.

And here's a theological question for ol' Pat to mull: If the Lord speaks to you, wouldn't he make sure that you understood him? Would there be a chance of "mishearing" the Lord when He is a) all-powerful, b) not actually speaking at all, but presumably using some mystical telepathy?

Hey, Robertson! I just got a call from God! Now, if I heard him correctly, at some point this year, at some place in America, you'll be called a fraud and a manipulator. And you may or may not experience a tsunami of godless heathen snickering in response to this sort of carnival-tent chicanery.

2 Comments:

At 4:44 PM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Just so you know, conservative Christians scratch their heads over him too.

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger codemorse said...

I'd be thoroughly convinced of their insanity if they didn't.

 

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