Monday, April 03, 2006

Slither Will Make You Sick (And That's A Good Thing)

This weekend, if you were a yellow-bellied pussywillow, you went and saw Ice Age 2: The Meltdown. Ice Age, with it's "adorable" anthropomorphic animals, sassy black mammoths, and "contemporary" humor, rang up over 70 MILLION dollars.

That's a lotta Hamiltons, yo.

Those of you sporting a pair (fig. or lit.) caught Slither, instead. Since Slither went on to rake in a whopping 3.7 million, I can only assume that we're now living in a ball-free society.

Slither is one of the most disgusting movies I've ever seen. Unlike pretty much everything above, this statement is not hyperbole. Slither is goddamn nasty.

But it's also hilarious, scary as fuck, and surprisingly well-acted.

Those of you who know me know that I've got a mancrush on Nathan Fillion (who plays Sheriff Pardy in the film, and was Malcolm Reynolds in Serenity) worthy of some lame Brokeback Mountain jokes, and he's stellar in Slither. The man's a S.T.A.R., and it's a shame that it'll take him acting in a romantic comedy alongside J.Lo (ala McCoughneheynow) for anyone to notice.

The rest of the cast, from Elizabeth Banks (aka: the bubble-tub hottie from the 40 year-old virgin) to Greg Henry, to Michael Rooker, are top-notch, and completely sell what, in other thespian hands, could have been a deeply silly film.

Not that Slither isn't deeply silly, because it is. But it's a good silly. The sort of silly that you want to bring a date to, because, let me tell you, you are guaranteed to spend the majority of the film's running time with said-date on your lap (and, perhaps, near-painfully gripping your thigh).

Grow a pair. Go see Slither.


At 9:26 AM, Blogger Ben Miro said...


At 10:04 AM, Blogger Ben Miro said...

About Fillion: The guy is so much more charming, cooler, funnier than most of the Hollywood douchebags foisted upon us (I'm looking at you, McConaughey!). I'm willing to take a shot and see him in a decent romcom (let's not piss on the entire genre 'cause Jlo and Sandra Bullock tagteamed it like luchadors) to get him his due.

And to quote Clarence in True Romance, If I had to fuck a guy, like my life depended on it...I'd fuck Elizabeth Banks.

At 10:45 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

About Fillion: agreed. They should dump Harrison's near-70 year-old ass and put Fillion in as Dr. Jones.

And I think the upcoming "Waitress," starring Fillion and Keri Russell, will be a good start. Its a rom-com without the aforementioned rom-com-killas.

And if you can find me a man or woman who wouldn't enjoy some Banks, please let me know so that we can single them out and mock them.

At 6:33 PM, Blogger Reel Fanatic said...

Not gonna bother to comment on my huevos, but I loved this flick ... Fillion is the man, and Elizabeth Banks is just pure sex ... funny, gross and great

At 8:23 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

I appreciate your restraint, reel.

Glad to hear you enjoyed it. Elizabeth Banks is the yum.

Check out my Brick review, up today. If you're a fan of film, it's a must-see.


Post a Comment

<< Home