Thursday, January 26, 2006

Satire As A Weapon (Or, "This is WAR, Mrs. Peacock!")

Verily, thou shalt laugh thy ass off:

Q. Now some crazy people say the president broke some silly old laws like FISA and the National Security Act and the Fourth Amendment. Are these crazy people crazy?

A. They sure are! Maybe those laws worked back in 1978 back when Leonid Brezhnev was snortin coke with Ayatollah Khomeini and groovin to the hits of the Bee Gees, but in today's dark and dangerous times they just aren't enough.

Q. Things sure have changed since the innocent days of mutually assured destruction! But is it legal for the president to ignore the law?

A. Maybe not according to plain ol stupid ol regular law, but we're at war! You don't go to war with regular laws, which are made outta red tape and bureaucracy and Neville Chamberlain. You go to war with great big strapping War Laws made outta tanks and cold hard steel and the American Fightin Man and WAR, KABOOOOOOM!

Q. How does a War Bill become a War Law?

A. It all begins with the president, who submits a bill to the president. If a majority of both the president and the president approve the bill, then it passes on to the president, who may veto it or sign it into law. And even then the president can override himself with a two-thirds vote.

Q. See it's the checks and balances that make all the difference in our democratic system.

Q. Can the president eat a baby?

A. If that baby has suspected ties to al Qaeda, then it's the president's duty to eat it - for the sake of national security.

Q. The president doesn't want to eat sweet, delicious babies. He just wants to protect America from the growing threat of a rogue baby insurgency.

A. Exactly. And nobody will have more compassion for that succulent baby barbecue than him.

There's more. Lots more. Click the link above and laugh and laugh until the tears roll down your face and you realize that you aren't laughing, you're crying, and your pathetic mewling is being recorded from deep-space via super-secret satellite so that you can never, ever run for President without the Wiretapping Veterans For Truth calling you a snivelling crybaby coward and writing nasty books about it.

(heads-up, courtesy of Kung Fu monkey)


At 11:16 AM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Oh that was good. I needed that.


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