Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Coulter No Longer Masturbating Alone

It's a collegiate rite of passage to plaster photos/posters of smokin' hot women on your dorm room walls; right next to big, black and white, pirated images from "Reservoir Dogs," "Animal House," or "Old School."

This urge to fly your colors seems to pass after the freshman year, once it's realized that there are actual, real-life women walking around on your campus, and that the enormous image of Carmen Electra over your bed probably isn't helping you woo any of them.

But what if you're a young conservative, just headed off to the ivy-hung, Ivory Towers of Liberal Higher Education? What are you supposed to hang on your walls with ticky-tack and doublesided tape? Sure, Carmen's hot....but she's suspiciously progressive.

Luckily, Young America's Foundation has your answer.



Yes, now your furtive, freshman self-gratification can be done to the boney visage of conservative commentary's most fetishized lady. If only they'd included a few of her more "provocative" comments beneath her tawny locks!

"Liberals don't want to fight terrorism. You want there to be lots of 9/11's"

"My only regret about Timothy McVeigh is that he did not go to the NY Times building"

"Americans understand that Manhattan is the Soviet Union"

"
When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty.We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed too. Otherwise they will turn out to be outright traitors."

"The problem with women voting -- and your Communists will back me up on this -- is that, you know, women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it."

To a disabled Vietnam vet: "People like you caused us to lose that war."

"My libertarian friends are probably getting a little upset now but I think that's because they never appreciate the benefits of local fascism."


Ssssssexy!

4 Comments:

At 4:20 PM, Blogger Scott Roche said...

Nice.

 
At 7:36 PM, Blogger codemorse said...

Yea, I thought so.

 
At 6:11 AM, Blogger Ben Miro said...

I threw up in my mouth.

 
At 8:10 AM, Blogger codemorse said...

Then I've done my job.

 

Post a Comment

<< Home